Family Or Destiny
by cs-cheek-kisses
Summary: Killian and Emma argue about making time for both their family and being the savior.
1. Chapter 1

The streets of Storybrooke were wet with the rain of that afternoon, and the skies were streaked with amber and violet. A girl of about seven or eight, with dark mahogany hair in pigtails, ran laughing down the sidewalk. Her father walked a few paces behind, watching her with a small smile on his face, yet looked pained in some way. He was dressed head to toe in black, and a hook replaced where his left hand should be. The girl suddenly turned, and ran across the garden belonging to a large pale blue house. Her father closed the white picket fence gate behind them, as she continued to run up the porch steps and through the front door.

The girl's mother was sat drinking a cup of steaming hot chocolate at the kitchen counter, she turned and smiled as she heard her daughter come in.

"Hey baby girl!"

The girl continued towards her mother and was pulled into her arms, before being taken onto her lap.

"How'd your play go?" The mother asked cheerfully, but with a hint of sadness.

"I got to wear the bestest costume ever! All the other girls wanted the ugly frilly dresses"

At that point her father came through the door; the mother looked up from her daughter and was met by a guarded expression.

"Aye, she wore an ensemble fit for the most daring pirate!"

The girl looked up at her mother, a proud smile across her face and a gleam in her eyes. The smile was reciprocated by her mother, but her eyes were filled with a carefully masked emotion, as she hugged her daughter tight.

"Bedtime I think, Eliza" Said the farther, holding his belt with his only hand.

A flicker of disappointment flashed across Eliza's young face, before she hopped down from her mother's lap.

"Why don't you pick out which story you want to read tonight, before I tuck you in sweetie?" Her mother asked softly, stroking Eliza's hair.

This seemed to return the happiness to Eliza's eyes, before she excitedly climbed the stairs in search of the perfect story.

A tension slowly seeped into the room, as the mother and farther finally looked at each other with their expressions no longer hidden, and their eyes strained.

"Killian…"

Emma walked towards him, looking conflicted. She sat down on the sofa next to where he was standing, but he did not join her. Instead he entered the kitchen area and poured himself a tot of rum.

"Where the bloody hell were you, Swan?" Killian asked heatedly.

Emma couldn't respond, instead she sighed and leant back on the sofa, looking up at the ceiling.

"Emma, you know how much she's been looking forward to this. How much she wanted us _both_ to be there."

"I'm sorry, I was..." Emma began, but was interrupted.

"Let me guess, saving one person or another?"

"It's complicated" She responded

"Isn't it always?" Killian asked, annoyed.

Emma's expression quickly turned from apologetic to angry.

"Hey, I'm doing my best! You think being The Savior, a mother and a wife all at once is easy?"

"I suppose their importance is in that order?"

"My family is everything to me, you _know_ that. I spent most of my life wishing for what we have together."

"But our daughter is just not important enough to put being the savior on hold for half an hour?"

"It's not like that, and you know it"

"Then tell me what it is like, because I don't revel in having to tell my little girl that her mother has let her down _again_."

This seemed to flick a switch in Emma, her expression changed from angry to hurt. Silence surrounded them, and before long, the flash of hurt in Emma's eyes was gone, only to be replaced with a shielded expression.

"I'm going to go upstairs and read my daughter a bedtime story. I suggest you go for a walk or something, before we _both_ say something we regret"

And with that, Emma turned and went up the stairs.


	2. Chapter 2

Eliza's bedroom was a combination of soft lavender and blue, with white hand painted birds flying across the walls. Stood in the doorway, Emma remembered the early morning she had painted them.

 _"What the devil do you think you're doing? Get down from there!"_

 _Emma was stood on a precarious looking stool, paintbrush in hand._ _She chuckled, it seemed Killian wasn't going to stop being overprotective any time soon._

 _"I couldn't sleep again last night, so I thought I'd make myself useful. The walls were looking a bit empty, so I added these." She pointed towards the bird she was currently painting._

 _"Well they are lovely," he commented "but I still would prefer it if both your feet remained on the ground for the next few months." He stated, lifting Emma into his arms and gently placing her down. She was dressed in her comfiest pj's, which were soft and stripped with grey and cream. Killian however, was bare chested, only wearing his navy PJ bottoms, which hung low on his hips. As usual in a morning, his hair was ruffled and falling into his sky blue eyes, now full of mischief._

 _"What?" Emma asked curiously._

 _Killian smiled, before touching her nose with his index finger. He turned it to show her, revealing that his finger was covered in paint._

 _"There seems to be more paint on you than there is on the walls." He commented cheekily, raising an eyebrow. She giggled, embarrassed, before_

 _encircling her arms around his neck. Emma smiled up at him, love pouring out of her eyes._

 _"When are you going to stop worrying?" She only half-teased._

 _"Never. I will never stop worrying about you, Swan. Both of you." Killian's hand moved from her waist to cover Emma's swollen belly._

"Mom!" Mom?" Eliza's voice brought Emma back to the present.

"Sorry sweetie, um… which story are we having?"

Emma sat down next to her daughter, with one leg tucked beneath her, and the other dangling over the bed. She smiled, or at least tried to, as she tucked the quilted bedspread Granny had made around Eliza.

"Mommy?" Eliza asked cautiously.

"Yes, baby?" Emma replied softly, dreading the answer.

"Why is Daddy cross? Did I do something bad?"

"No! No, you didn't do anything. You didn't do anything" Emma answered quickly, taking Eliza into her arms and kissing her hair. Eliza's arms wrapped around her mother, she looked up at Emma, confused.

"Then why is he so…" Eliza paused, questioning if she should continue. "…sulky." She finished.

Emma sighed. "Because he loves you so much, so so much."

"But that doesn't make any sense?" Eliza commented, a confused look on her face.

"Sometimes, when you care about someone so much, you lash out at others despite loving them too." Emma stated thoughtfully. She knew all about lashing out at loved ones, pushing them away, simply because she cared.

"Eliza," Emma said, making her daughter look at her.

"Daddy loves you, I love you. That's all that matters, okay?"

"But what about you and Daddy?" Eliza commented.

Emma smiled, but it was a fake smile, a smile which masked her inner tears.

"Bedtime," she hastily said, standing up.

Eliza appeared as if she wanted to say something more, but didn't. She did as she was told, getting under the covers.

Emma leaned down, "Snuggle down kid." She said softly, tucking Eliza in.

"Sweet dreams." She whispered, before kissing Eliza's forehead. Emma lingered there a second, before turning around and flicking the lights off.

After quietly closing Eliza's bedroom door, Emma wiped a stray tear from her cheek before walking down the hall to her own bedroom.


	3. Chapter 3

Mist had crept over the bare streets of Storybrooke. A faint bell could be heard, ringing periodically in the distance, as the waves crashed against The Jolly Roger. Darkness was beginning to close in, revealing glimpses of the twinkling stars above. Killian looked up at the Cygnus constellation, it's beauty could not equal his Swan's. And yet here he was, standing at the cold, wet docks and not curled up next to a warm, crackling fire with Emma.

Killian could only be described as torn. On one hand, he loved Emma more than his own life, and despised the fact that he had caused her any amount of pain. On the other hand, his daughter's happiness was everything to him. Seeing little Eliza's face fall, after telling her that her mother couldn't attend the play she had been looking forward to so much, caused something to snap inside him. He had always supported Emma, through thick and thin, for better or for worse. However, he refused to be the pitiful excuse of a father that his own had been. He had sworn the blissful day Elizabeth had been born, that he would do his finest to make sure his baby girl would never stop smiling. And today, she had stopped smiling because of something Emma had done.

Sighing, Killian turned and walked in the direction of Granny's. He couldn't face seeing the hurt in Emma's eyes, knowing he had put it there, again so soon. Darkness had fully fallen now, and the cold air was sharp against his cheek. The warmth of Granny's dinner was welcomed, along with the deliciously sweet smell of hot chocolate, which filled his nostrils. It seemed everything would remind him of his beloved Swan this evening.

He sat down in his usual seat, and grabbed a menu to attempt to distract his thoughts.

"I know that look." Said a sympathetic female voice in front of him.

Killian looked up, Granny wore a inquisitive smile as she placed his usual, a cup of black coffee, before him.

"On the house."

"I'm afraid bribing me with free coffee won't get you the latest gossip." Killian replied harshly, despite pouring a tot of rum from his flask into the steaming cup, and taking a sip. He had to admit, it did provide some much needed comfort, spreading warmth back into his bones.

"No, but it might make you less prickly." Granny teased.

This gained her an eye roll.

"Look," she said seriously "whatever it is that's bothering you, and I highly suspect it has something to do with a blonde Sherriff…"

"I have no problem with David, thank you very much." Killian interjected, roguishly.

Granny threw him an annoyed look.

"You knew very well which Sherriff I meant! Don't think that being the sarcastic Captain Hook will hide the pain you're feeling."

Killian gave no response, instead he looked into the steaming depths of the coffee in front of him. It seemed he was losing his knack for obscuring his emotions.

"Hey," Granny said softly, "You will work it out. You always do, but avoiding the problem by sitting here isn't going to make it go way."

"Now, do you want that free coffee or not?"

Killian gave her the best smile he could manage.

"Thank you, Granny." He said genuinely, looking directly at her for the first time. Granny knew the thanks wasn't just for the free coffee.

"Any time." She replied kindly, and smiled before leaving him to take someone else's order.

Killian knew he should head straight back home as soon as possible, but he hesitated. What would he say? He would tell her he was sorry, she was a brilliant mother and never meant to suggest otherwise. Yet how could they move forward if Emma continued to put her savior duties ahead of their family? Perhaps it was a risk he would have to take, knowing that the conversation he was dreading to have could go either way.

Seizing all the courage and hope he could muster, he drank the remains of his now cold coffee and strode out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

A deafening silence filled the dark shadows of the Jones house. A slither of silver moonlight crept across the hardwood floors, through the kitchen window. The chime of an ancient clock broke through the hush, sounding eleven. Killian hesitated at the foot of the stairs, gazing around the house he and Emma had made home. Each corner held a treasured memory of their time together; Henry coming over for movie nights, Killian making his Swan romantic dinners, Emma revealing he was going to be a father, Eliza's first steps. The list was endless, and he was desperate to continue adding to it. Holding on to that hopeful thought, he made his way up the creaking staircase.

Emma lay still in their bed, her back facing him. The moonlight shone off her golden hair, which was spread out on the pillow beside her. Killian noticed that their large, white bed was excessively crumpled, as if Emma had been tossing and turning repeatedly. He sighed with deep regret, before removing his hook, as well as all his other clothing, apart from his boxers. Slithering under the covers, he tried to move as little as possible, careful not to wake his Swan. God, she was beautiful. His hand ached to touch her soft, creamy skin. In this moment, all he wanted was to feel his naked body encompass hers, and hold her through the night. He knew this was not a good idea, he should let her sleep and talk about their argument in the morning. But Killian wasn't thinking with his head right now. Gingerly, he brushed her silky hair aside to expose Emma's bare neck. Slowly, he leant over and placed feather-light kisses over her shoulder, making his way up her elegant neck. Emma stirred softly, and placed her hand on Killian's cheek, stroking it with her thumb. This encouraged him to continue. When he reached her ear, he nipped it playfully, causing Emma to lie on her back to face him. Her eyes stared deeply into his, a fire burning inside of them, as well as her anger and regret. Emma stroked his cheek again, before softly placing a kiss on his lips. Killian acted with caution, not knowing how to proceed. Surely they should talk about what happened first? Wasn't this their way of avoiding their emotions? Before he could collect his thoughts, Emma encircled her arms around his neck and pulled his lips down on hers more intensely. He returned the kiss with just as much passion, and felt her lips smile against his as she drew one hand slowly down his chest, further and further.

Killian paused, catching her hand, and his breath. "I can't believe I'm going to say this but… Don't you think we should talk about what happened earlier? Before…"

She placed her finger over his swollen lips. "Shhh…Tomorrow." She replied "Right now… I have other plans." She whispered suggestively.

Not needing to be told twice, Killian hastily pulled off her top and took her hard nipple into his mouth. He nibbled it playfully with his teeth, before licking his tongue unhurriedly across her breast. Emma arched her back, encouraging him to continue, whilst holding on to his think hair, moaning.

Suddenly, she pushed on his shoulders, laying him beneath her as she sat astride his hips. With haste, Emma removed both their underwear, leaving both their bodies exposed. Killian looked up at her with both admiration and desire. She returned his gaze as she reached for his hand to place over her so slowly, she took his throbbing erection in her other hand, and guided him inside her. A deep, throaty moan escaped his lips, as she began to rock her hips painfully slow. Killian responded by kneading her breast, whist Emma quickened the tempo, her eyes fixed on his.

No longer able to refrain, he grabbed her by the hips and threw Emma on her back. Killian thrust deeper inside of her, causing her to cry out in ecstasy. Desperate for him to thrust even deeper, Emma wrapped her legs around his waist, gripping his shoulders. She was close. Staring into his smouldering eyes, Emma deliberately raked her nails slowly down his muscular back, her mouth open with pleasure. This resulted in Kilian placing his glistening forehead to hers and picking up their rhythm. With each thrust, both their breath became more ragged. Emma reached up to hold the banging headboard for support, her body had begun to lose control. Killian quickly placed his hand over hers, as they hit their climax together, crying out.

Exhausted, Killian collapsed on top of her glistening chest, his face laying between her tender breasts. Whilst they both caught their breath, Emma unconsciously stoked his sex- tousled hair.


	5. Chapter 5

Blue eyes locked with green, as Emma and Killian lay in their dishevelled bed, on their stomachs. Emma finally dropped her gaze to their entwined hands, before pulling Killian's to her flushed cheek.

"Love…I'm" Killian began, softly.

"No, stop. Let me go first." She interrupted, a pained expressing across her face.

Killian's face was a look of guilt and regret, but he remained silent.

"I admit that… lately I've taken what we have, what I've always wanted, for granted. Sometimes I get so caught up in the latest town crisis, that I forget to appreciate the quiet moments. The moments with my family. I even _miss_ those moments sometimes…because I'm too consumed with trying to be what I _need_ to be, The Savior. I should be more focussed on what I _want_ to be: a mom, a wife, a daughter."

"Swan, I…" He tried to comfort, but was interrupted again.

"No, let me finish!" Emma stated, raising her voice. Sighing, she sat up, placing her head against the headboard and gazing up at the ceiling. Killian also sat up, but instead placed his gaze directly on his wife.

Neither spoke for a few moments. Finally, Emma's eyes returned to his. She reached out to cup his cheek, which was covered by his own hand. Killian took her soft hand in his and brushed it with a gentle kiss. Closing his eyes, he treasured the feel of her creamy skin against his (now swollen) lips.

"From now on I'm going to remind myself what's really important. When there is a crisis…I'll…" Emma began.

" _We'll_ face it together." He stated, smiling. "Like always."

Emma smiled, and leaned over to kiss her husband affectionately, placing her hands on his tattooed, broad chest.

Killian broke off the kiss, reluctantly, but kept their noses touching.

"My turn." He stated.

"Emma, what I said was unnecessarily cruel…"

"It's ok." She whispered, though her voice did not reflect her words.

"No, it's not." Killian argued, raising his voice.

He sighed, and put some space between them. Sitting on the edge of their bed, with his head in his hand, Killian put his back to her, closing his eyes. There was a tension in his body, revealing his torn emotions.

"You've given me so much, Swan. A home, a beautiful and fearless, daughter. Things I never thought I'd have." He turned to look at her, his stormy blue eyes wet.

"But most of all, you gave me your whole heart…" Killian's voice cracked, prompting Emma to encircle her arms around his shoulders. She lay her head on Killian's shoulder, tears trickling down her cheeks.

"…And I know how difficult it was for you to trust me with it at the beginning," He turned his head so his wife could see the sincerity in his eyes. "…So I will take care of it to the best of my ability. And that includes not letting myself harm it again." He continued, his tone serious.

Emma's arms tightened around him. Killian placed his hand over hers.

"I'm so sorry Swan. Could you forgive me?" He asked, his voice unsure.

"I have already." She replied.

Killian reached around, grabbing Emma by the waist and pulling her into his lap, straddling him. A moment passed, where they looked at each other intently. Killian stroking her bare back. Emma curling her fingers into his thick hair.

"I love you." He said, his voice full of raw emotion.

"I love you both." Killian continued.

Emma placed her hand over his jaw, stroking his stubble-covered cheek.

"There is nothing you could ever do that would stop me loving you, Killian Jones."

"I'll remind you of that." He replied, smiling. His voice full of mischief.

Emma rolled her eyes, returning his smile.

"What am I going to do with you?" she asked, playfully.

"I could think of a few things." He replied seductively, as he moved his lips slowly closer to hers, a dark look in his eyes.

"Shut up and kiss me!"

"Where first?"


End file.
